To my beautiful step-daughter as you turn 20

It will come as no surprise to you to know that I struggled in the role I found myself in being step-mother to you.

I wasn’t a mother.  I wasn’t used to step-families.  It was alien to me.

You however took it all in your stride, you were nice to me and you were chatty. You were always polite, I was very impressed by that. I’d like to say that things all then fell into place but they didn’t.

I continued to struggle with my new role for a few years.  Step-family life seemed to encroach too heavily on my previously single existence. I wasn’t sure I was ready for all the compromise.

And then your Dad said the words to me that I’d been dreading.  He said he would choose you, if I couldn’t accept things as they were he would choose you and your sister over me.

I never thought I’d be with someone who didn’t put me first.  I was wrong. It was then I knew I was here to stay.  This was the man who I’d been looking for, the one who when push came to shove would do the right thing.

Now when I see you we chat as two mothers raising young children, talking about how hard it is and how difficult it can be to work around childcare.  It’s a very different place to when I met you eight years ago.  I’m very glad that I stuck around to see it, you’ve taught me a lot.

Things haven’t been easy for you but you’re doing great.  I’m very proud to be your step-mother. We’re all rooting for you, always.

Go light up the world.





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